It's Coming To An End...

My time as a Stay At Home Mom that is.  I've been home with my girls since June 10th. And it has been the best and (at times) most harrowing time I've ever had. I've gotten to see them all day, make their lunches, do art projects, sing songs, put them down for their naps. I've also been totally maxed out, touched out, near tears, and totally overwhelmed. But I love it. Every minute of it.

What can I say? I'm totally mixed about this. I know that I am a better mother if I work. Really I am. It's important for me to use my grown up brain and to engage in an intellectual way with other adults.  I've known for a long time that I do better with my girls when I am working. But I just want to stay home. And there's the guilt...

I feel guilty about knowing that I'm better if I work. That I can manage their meltdowns and their personalities easier. I have time to miss them. I have time to do things with out them *literally* climbing all over me. But I want to be with them and I think,  I think if I could fold them up and put them back inside me to take along, I would. I'm not sure how I'd manage my wardrobe or my body image, but I would. 

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I mean I don't have a job offer yet, just interviews. So the end is drawing nearer, but it's not here yet. Soon though. And sooner than I want it to be.