Somebody told me the other day that I was SuperMom. My emotions that followed were a strange mix of flattery, embarrassment, pride, and lung-wringing hysteria. Did I let on to these emotions? I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure that I just smiled and said thank you.
This weekend I was put face-to-face with my Not-So-Super Mom side. My husband was out of town for a funeral and I had both girls alone for three days. And of course it was a very busy three days. Not the well let's just stay at home and hang out all weekend in our jammies. Oh no! There were many things that needed to be done both in and out of the house. And of course by virtue of this whole motherhood thing, my children were...children. Most days I am able to handle the daily shenanigans that goes with having a 6 month old and 2 year old. The refusal to nap, the crying, the tantrums, the spills, sure bring it on. No really. I think most days I do a very good job of breathing through my frustrations and modeling emotional control when it comes to my children. Do I do it perfectly? No. Do I think I could do it worse? Yes. I'd give myself a good solid B on the Mommy Hysteria Scale. Then there was today...
I think every mother has those moments and days. Those moments when you want to scream, lock yourself in a bathroom, cry, or maybe all three. Those days when you can't find your house amongst all the crap in it. You put things away endlessly, but the counters are still covered, and you scrub but there is still sticky stuff on the floor. The days your just too worn thin to make a healthy dinner so you put everyone in the car and head to McDonald's even though the mere thought of that rubber they call meat makes your stomach turn. I've had a weekend of those days, but today was the worst.
All weekend it was juggling of cars that needed to be serviced, closets that needed cleaning (the baby no longer fits in her 3-6 months clothes so out came the 6 months), crying fits, grocery shopping, laundry and...well... life. Saturday night, after the kids went to bed I cleaned, for 4 hours. Yes. Really. 4 hours.
My two year old is in the coloring phase. The one where they really understand and explore what colors are and that they are in control of the pen/crayon/paint. For her it is crayons. So this morning (at about 6:00), while I was getting her some yogurt and juice, she decided that she wanted to make the tile floor pretty...with a blue crayon. What is missing from the story is that I spent an hour last night on my hands and knees scrubbing that same floor. Cue breathing. So I took the crayon away and tackled the scribbles with gusto. When I stood up, I realized that the crayon I had taken from her, was actually HALF a crayon. And the other half was being used to color the carpet. Cue deeper breathing. Trying to get my 2 year old to stay on the couch while I scrubbed, and rinsed, and ran the Bissel carpet cleaner (Yes I own a carpet cleaner. I can't imagine anyone with a toddler NOT owning one.), just about pushed me over the edge. Hi Edge. How are you? Mind if I just fall over you? Thanks.
Then she did it again when we got back from the airport. You read that right. She did it again. Where did she get the stupid freaking crayon?!? I have no idea, but she is not allowed to have ANY crayons for a day (which is a lifetime for a 2 year old). Maybe she'll learn. Riiiight. Hello delusion. Haven't seen you in a while. Want some tea?
So why am I posting this? Mostly because I need to. I need to get this hysteria out of my head and out of my body and this seems like a pretty good place to dump it. Also, I think that it's an homage to the Non-SuperMom in us all. We all have times when life gets the better of us. We have the right to have days where we let it slide and leave well enough alone. We have the right to be crazy and not look like movie stars (Stacy and Clinton be damned). We have the right to not get it all done, have a messy house, and lose it every now and then. In fact, I think it's important to have those days. As long as they aren't every day and that you don't throw people into the blender and hit puree (if this is happening, maybe it's time to take up yoga or a wood chopping class).
I think it's important to know what your breaking point is. To be able to show your children how to cope with the craziness that ensues in a healthy way. Because it will ensue, and they will need to know how to deal
So here's to the Non-SuperMom. To the "clean means you don't stick to it". To the Dinner means something in your stomach, even if it's only classified as food because it was sold in a "restaurant". And most importantly, here's to the hope, that I will keep it together next time...or at least making sure I have BOTH halves of the crayon the FIRST time...
